As we drove up I-5 yesterday and observed the stunning fireworks by everyone who set them off near the freeway, I was thinking about this day eight years ago when I said to David at our rehearsal dinner, “hey – happy independence day,”and he laughed, saying, “yup, its my last one.” You’ll have to ask him if he thinks that marriage has made him sacrifice too much of his independence, as he joked about back then, but as I remembered this, I couldn’t help wondering if yesterday was my last independence day too, in a way, since Read more
Those of you that want just the “news,” scroll down a bit… those of you that care to hear my “ramblings,” well… continue on.
May I just say that this past week has really tried my patience? It occurred to me at work the other night, as I was tucking in one of my patients who’d finally gotten an epidural and was able to sleep, that this continual-sometimes-minor-sometimes-major stress of the last 18 months has taken its toll on my emotions. I haven’t felt anger, much. I haven’t really fought the diagnosis, I haven’t been that frustrated. But I realized that night that between the continual, am I sick or am I getting better? Am I living or dying yet? my mind and heart was just plain tired. I’m sure that the ridiculously bad weather we’ve been having hasn’t helped, and since I’ve been on chemo I haven’t been able to “cheat”and use “artificial” sun.