Believe it or not, this is not the craziest stretch of life I’ve walked through.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s nuts. It’s a psychotic, insane, you’ve-got-to-be-kidding-me season.
But it’s not my first time feeling this way.
Never mind that. You’re all reading this because you want news about David. So, here it is:
Yesterday I went to work. David was feeling well when I left. He wanted some activities to distract him, so he volunteered to do some of Noelle’s school work with her and plant some seeds in our make-shift garden. He said the activity made him feel energized and refreshed.
Then came late afternoon.
Last Saturday my Kindle broke.
Yes, Amazon will fix it – for free. Yes, the new one arrives today. But at the time, I thought, really, universe?! If you’re going to suck my whole life down the drain doing things I really wish I wasn’t doing, couldn’t you at least have left me with my Kindle?
Yes, I know. This is one of those first world problems. For a list of more first world problems, join me on Pinterest. My board ‘words to live by’ has an excellent – and hilarious – explanation.
But, though I’m ashamed to admit it, the loss of my Kindle did mess me up.
I was re-reading The Hunger Games.
Last summer an old friend found this blog and sent me an email.
It brought me to tears. But the part I remember most was where he told me it was okay if I broke down once in awhile.
I knew what he meant. He was giving me permission to be less than perfect.
I thanked him for his wise words. But I also told him the truth, which was, I wasn’t faking the decision to be happy. In fact, cancer – somehow – increased my capacity for joy.
I’ve not felt much like breaking down these past three years.
Last Tuesday I pulled my six-year-old girl out of school.
I’ve agonized over the decision for weeks. Many of you know that I intended to wait. I wanted her to finish grade one with her friends. I wanted her to have four more months with the fabulous woman she’s been blessed with for a teacher. I wanted the transition to be gentle.
None of that happened.
Out of respect for Noelle’s privacy, I won’t share details here. But my girl begged me to let her learn at home. And once I’d shared her concerns with a couple of close psychologist friends, I realized it didn’t matter if her request fit my plans. Pulling her now was what we had to do.
The next day BC teachers voted to strike.