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Posts tagged ‘Cancer Diaries’

Oct 5

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Wednesday’s Wonder Woman: Elliana Meredith

So, last weekend the thought occurred to me that this ‘prolactinoma’ they’re wondering if I have – which would be evidenced by high prolactin levels – could actually be something else. Something very different. Something very happy.

There was a simple way to find out.

I took a test.

And, for a moment, it looked positive.  Then, I noticed something else.

Must have been a false positive. Because I was definitely NOT pregnant.

But when I told all this to David, I paused in between the false positive and the NOT pregnant part. His face contorted in a mixture of horror and humor.

‘Well, our babies have never really been, um… planned.’ he said.

He’s right.

Noelle was a pleasant surprise. Elliana was a whirlwind of, oh, this again, already?

And when I look back on it, Elliana may have been the trigger that made me really sick. Read more

Sep 28

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Game On

Welcome to the roller coaster that is now my life.

Buckle up. Keep all hands and arms inside the vehicle. I promise the ride will be bumpy, twisted, and upside down.

Good. Now that I’ve warned you, let me tell you about my week.

I’ve seen four different doctors. I’ve been to BC BioMed Labs three times. And, so far I may have one or more of the following four illnesses: pulmonary hypertension/heart failure, hypothyroidism, cervical cancer, or my favorite, pituitary tumor.

All are possible, the last three are likely. And they may all be related to the last one: a tumor in my pituitary gland.

Technically, pituitary tumor is not cancer. Nor is it a brain tumor. It’s called pituitary adenoma, a slow-growing tumor in the pituitary gland that messes up all of the body’s hormones, causing things like hypothyroidism and a host of reproductive issues, including the iron-deficiency anemia that I’ve already been diagnosed with.  Depending on its size, it’s often not operated on; best treatment is usually through medication.

It’s also often never even diagnosed. Read more

Sep 25

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Control, Defiance, and Joy

I meant to blog on Friday.

But then I got a phone call – from my oncologist’s office.

Yeah, those usually aren’t too fun. Oncologists are – unfortunately – busy people. No news is good news, they say. And its true. If they’re calling you, then, well, something’s up.

Or down, as the case may be.

This time, there was something down. I blogged on Wednesday about having microcytic anemia (low hemoglobin due to small red blood cells). I’d had a Ferritin level blood test (iron levels) done on Tuesday, to see if the low hemoglobin was due to low iron. If it wasn’t, then we had to consider that I might be sicker than we had thought.

But, it was low. 6, to be precise. Normal is 20-100, so yes, I’m a bit iron-deficient.

Good news, right? Because then I can just take iron supplements to correct the problem.

Or, maybe not. Read more

Sep 21

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Wednesday’s Wonder Woman:The Original, Canadian “Bones”

Week after week I pillage Google for inspiring women to write about. And, I always wonder, where are all the Canadians?

Despite the stereotype that Canadians are ‘nice’ and ‘polite,’ Canadian women are more fire and ice than most. Back a few months, when our hockey team was playing San Jose, a number of San Jose fans trolled Canucks forums, saying things like, ‘our chicks are hotter than yours.’

Typical smack talk, and all part of the fun of sports fandom, I know. But, I was pretty impressed that MORE than a few male Canuck fans jumped on that comment. ‘We grow ’em pretty, gritty, and smart up here.’

We do.

So, where are all the Canadian heroines?

I don’t mean famous people. I don’t mean rock stars or actresses. I don’t mean songwriters or athletes.

Though, we do have a few of those that make my Canadian heart swell with pride.

I mean women who otherwise would not be known except that they dared to do what others said was impossible.

And then, this week, I found these two great books by Merna Forster: 100 Canadian Heroines, and 100 More Canadian Heroines: Famous and Forgotten Faces.

The first is promoted by our only female Prime Minister, Kim Campbell: “The term ‘weaker sex’ should make one’s blood boil after reading this book,” she says.

The second, released just this month, writes about a woman whose name is so boring, but life so interesting, I had to direct attention her way.

Bones fans? You might want to pay attention here. Read more

Aug 7

Morons, Stupidity, and Us

I prepare you now: I have had a week of stupid. A miserable, bash-your-head-on-your-desk, you’ve-got-to-be-kidding-me, did-someone-suck-these-people’s-brains-out? week of moronic encounters. So this post may be a bit, uh, more honest than you’re used to.

A few of you just ran away in fear. After all, I’m not known for being – what shall we call it? – hard to crack.

But for those of you with the courage – or perhaps morbid fascination, for who doesn’t love a good trainwreck? – to stay, let’s just agree up front to be honest.

Sometimes life is filled with stupidity. Sometimes you feel like you’re the only reasonable person in a sea of idiots. And then you painfully wonder if you’re the idiot and everyone else is sane.

And, it all unravels from there. Read more

Apr 22

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What Cancer Has Taught Me, Part 356: Embrace your Inner Dork

Hey, you, over there, keep the L up in the air
Hey, you, over there, keep the L up, cause I don’t care
You can throw your sticks and
You can throw your stones
Like a rock and just watch me go, yeah
L-O-S-E-R, I can only be who I are

I know, you’re thinking, what? She’s excited to be a loser? And where’s the first 355 parts of what cancer has taught her? Let’s just say those 355 things are not really written down, because they don’t need to be. Those are the givens, all the cliches Read more

Aug 4

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Embracing the Unresolved

I wish I had news for you all. I don’t. I have no idea how things are going except that my blood work is “good.” We won’t know for a few months if Sprycel is doing any more than Gleevec did. And the waiting, oh the waiting. It’s hard. I’ve often wished for patience, but I tend not to have the strength to wade through the things that will make me patient.

David and I are in the middle of a Fringe-a-thon, thanks to our growing addiction to all things written or created by J.J. Abrams (yes, this guy actually made me enjoy a Star Trek movie). And last night, I don’t really remember what the episode was about but I do remember Olivia saying to Peter, “haven’t you ever lived with something unresolved and wished there was something you could do about it?” And he rolls his eyes and says, “congratulations, you’ve just described the entire planet.” Read more

Jul 5

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Welcome to July 5th

As we drove up I-5 yesterday and observed the stunning fireworks by everyone who set them off near the freeway, I was thinking about this day eight years ago when I said to David at our rehearsal dinner, “hey – happy independence day,”and he laughed, saying, “yup, its my last one.” You’ll have to ask him if he thinks that marriage has made him sacrifice too much of his independence, as he joked about back then, but as I remembered this, I couldn’t help wondering if yesterday was my last independence day too, in a way, since Read more

Jun 24

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Our new friend, Sprycel

Hello everyone!

Those of you that want just the “news,” scroll down a bit… those of you that care to hear my “ramblings,” well… continue on.

May I just say that this past week has really tried my patience? It occurred to me at work the other night, as I was tucking in one of my patients who’d finally gotten an epidural and was able to sleep, that this continual-sometimes-minor-sometimes-major stress of the last 18 months has taken its toll on my emotions. I haven’t felt anger, much. I haven’t really fought the diagnosis, I haven’t been that frustrated. But I realized that night that between the continual, am I sick or am I getting better? Am I living or dying yet? my mind and heart was just plain tired. I’m sure that the ridiculously bad weather we’ve been having hasn’t helped, and since I’ve been on chemo I haven’t been able to “cheat”and use “artificial” sun.

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