I am not a has-been. I am a will be. – Lauren Bacall
I’m not really one for New Year’s resolutions.
I used to be. I used to wish each year for the proverbial fifteen-pound-weight loss. I used to dream of flawless skin. I used to lust after better clothes or easier-to-manage hair.
But that’s all those things really turned out to be – wishes, dreams, and jealousies.
Some years, I was extra-determined. I had a plan. The plan would work. I would get what I wanted. And everyone else would look at me and say, hey, look at you!
Except the plan never worked. All the things you have to do in order to be skinnier and look better require powerful, long-term, daily-accessible motivation.
And what I look like on the outside was just never enough motivation. Read more
Forgiveness is a virtue of the brave. – Indira Ghandi
The best thing I did last Christmas had nothing to do with family gatherings, food, music, lights… or what was under the tree.
In fact, it wasn’t public at all.
Last Christmas – after a particularly painful conversation with someone I wasn’t sure I could trust – I realized I was carrying something… heavy. Without trying, I’d found myself in… let’s call it tension, with a few key people – and one of them called me out.
I didn’t know where the tension came from. Perhaps it was gradual, like a stack of tiny rocks I’d collected over the few years I’d known these people. I thought I’d stuffed it away, or even ‘dealt with it,’ and yet here I was, less than a week from Christmas, and the rocks had spilled all over the main part of my life.
There was no escaping it.
And I knew I had a choice: continue in the tension, try to pretend it wasn’t there, or try and diffuse it.
Those of you who’ve ever been married know that the best way to escalate a fight is to: 1) defend yourself, or 2) leave.
The only way to diffuse it?
Swallow your pride, stay in place, and try to understand the other person. Read more