On my counter sits two bags of delicious homemade bread. My fridge boasts a beautiful display of homemade roasted pepper soup made by one of the very talented local authors of Mennonite Girls Can Cook. Last night we devoured plates of roasted potatoes, walnut chocolate chip cookies, and ‘easy lasagna’ casserole, all cooked fresh by a very dear friend of our family.
And right now I’m lightly cleaning up for the arrival of some of our favorite people ever – whom we also happen to be related to. These amazing friends and relatives are bringing every last inch of Thanksgiving dinner to us.
All of this comes on the heels of the best news I’ve heard in the last few months: my prolactin levels were normal.
That means, no tumor.
At least, not in my pituitary gland.
It wouldn’t technically have been cancer, and it wouldn’t technically have been in my brain, but the thought of operating inside my skull – and the thought of something growing inside my skull, affecting how I thought, saw, and did things – really shook me.
The thought of another cancer or almost cancer made my brain – and heart – hurt.
David texted me the news on Thursday morning: I called the doctor. Pit levels are good. Read more
On Friday I quoted The Toronto Star‘s reference to Rick Mercer as one of Canada’s great educators.
They must be right, for this morning I woke to the sad news of Jack Layton’s death, and my first thoughts were of Rick Mercer.
No, not really.
But a lot of what I remember about Jack Layton came through The Rick Mercer Report.
I prepare you now: I have had a week of stupid. A miserable, bash-your-head-on-your-desk, you’ve-got-to-be-kidding-me, did-someone-suck-these-people’s-brains-out? week of moronic encounters. So this post may be a bit, uh, more honest than you’re used to.
A few of you just ran away in fear. After all, I’m not known for being – what shall we call it? – hard to crack.
But for those of you with the courage – or perhaps morbid fascination, for who doesn’t love a good trainwreck? – to stay, let’s just agree up front to be honest.
Sometimes life is filled with stupidity. Sometimes you feel like you’re the only reasonable person in a sea of idiots. And then you painfully wonder if you’re the idiot and everyone else is sane.
And, it all unravels from there. Read more
Most of you reading this will know I have very, very good news to share. Unbelievable news, actually. Its not shocking, or overtly miraculous, like those people that go in for scans and the doctors tell them things like there is no trace of them ever having HAD cancer, nothing like that. But for me, a miracle all the same, and the best news I have heard in over two years. Read more
Those of you that want just the “news,” scroll down a bit… those of you that care to hear my “ramblings,” well… continue on.
May I just say that this past week has really tried my patience? It occurred to me at work the other night, as I was tucking in one of my patients who’d finally gotten an epidural and was able to sleep, that this continual-sometimes-minor-sometimes-major stress of the last 18 months has taken its toll on my emotions. I haven’t felt anger, much. I haven’t really fought the diagnosis, I haven’t been that frustrated. But I realized that night that between the continual, am I sick or am I getting better? Am I living or dying yet? my mind and heart was just plain tired. I’m sure that the ridiculously bad weather we’ve been having hasn’t helped, and since I’ve been on chemo I haven’t been able to “cheat”and use “artificial” sun.