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Posts from the ‘The Power of Story’ Category

Nov 23

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Wednesday’s Wonder Woman: Margaret Thatcher

I’m extraordinarily patient provided I get my own way in the end. – Margaret Thatcher

Sometimes I’ve wondered if me being sick is harder on other people than on me.

Think about it: have you ever felt it harder to watch someone go through something hard, than to go through that thing yourself?

Six years ago next Monday, I was on my hands-and-knees in the tiniest labour room at MSA General Hospital, wondering what on earth is happening to me and when in the world it would be over, and through the haze of nitrous oxide, I heard my doctor tell my husband that maybe he should take a minute outside.

I giggled. It’s called laughing gas for a reason.

But I wasn’t that surprised that he found it harder to watch me be in pain than to be in pain himself.

It’s something I see a lot in my job. Maternal grandmas get overwhelmed at their daughter’s experience; concerned dads are shocked to realize they had no idea what women went through to do this. Read more

Nov 9

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Living the Dream

Last week, a woman died at the Occupy Vancouver site.

We’re not entirely sure why. Many believe it was a drug overdose. Some say its her own fault. Some say its the mayor’s fault. Some say it’s the richest 1%’s fault for causing her life to feel so hopeless she felt she needed that large of an escape.

I say, that large, because, how many of us don’t need an escape, from time to time?

It’s interesting that we’re so quick to attach fault and blame to events. I spoke with a few colleagues recently about how personally we take each delivery we’re a part of. If it goes well, we attribute it to ourselves. If it doesn’t, we also attribute it to ourselves. And yet there’s always a few events in life – birth, death, and all the little things in between – that don’t seem to have been anyone’s fault.

Sure, if you’re looking for it, we can attach blame to anyone, for anything. Usually I find I need to blame someone or something when I’m the most afraid or ashamed about something. When my world has been shifted significantly, I’d like to find the giant who knocked it off its curve.

Sometimes, there’s no giant though. Sometimes there’s a thousand tiny hamsters, seeming to run in different directions, that make enough scurry to move something really, really big. Read more

Nov 2

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Wednesday’s Wonder Woman: Mary Electa Adams

‘I dread the idea of living uselessly.’ – Mary Electa Adams

Quick disclaimer: know that neither my husband nor I work for Amazon or have any connection with them.

No, really, we don’t.

Promise.

Last Christmas my husband told me he wanted a Kindle for Christmas. I scathingly told him he was flying in the face of the spirit of reading and promoting an instant-satisfaction culture. I told him the point of books over television was the media difference of paper and words versus images and screens.

He eventually capitulated, claiming he just wanted to read more and thought the Kindle would help him do that.

After my purist monologue, I thought about what he said, and did some research.

And, I bought him a Kindle for Christmas.

Considering my previous rant, he was completely surprised on Christmas Day. Read more

Oct 27

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Wednesday’s Wonder Women: Eleanor Roosevelt

A woman is like a tea bag – you can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water. – Eleanor Roosevelt

Every time I go to work, I feel my heart rip out of my chest.

No, not really. But the thundering thump-thump-thump of my girls feet on the stairs, racing to give me a goodbye hug as I head out the door, always makes me feel conflicted.

I love my job. I love how much it connects to what I do at home: at work, I help women become mothers; at home, I try not to lose it with my own children.

Some days are more successful than others. Some days, I’m relieved to head out the door and deal with something else’s issues rather than my own. Other days, I wish I could curl up on the couch and read Biscuit books with my kids.

Some of my stay-at-home-mom friends tell me how they can’t believe I work outside the home. Others wish they had that outlet. Others (genuinely) wonder if I’m doing the right thing by working.

Sometimes I wonder the same thing.

And, other times, often only five minutes after I wonder if  I should still be doing this, I’m so glad I do what I do. Read more

Oct 19

2 Comments

Wednesday’s Wonder Women: You. Yes, You. All of You.

I know what you’re thinking: Oh my word, she’s done it. She’s run out of inspiring women to write about.

Not true. In the slightest.

In fact, it’s just the opposite. There’s so many I could write about that today, I got overwhelmed. I was reading about all these amazing women and couldn’t choose.

So I decided to write about all of you.

Hang on. Let me explain.

One of the groups of women I thought about today were my co-workers. I don’t say this enough, but each of you have my deep respect. There is a lot of room for talent in our job, and even though that means many of us are vastly different from each other, it means there’s a lot of room to respect each other, too.

And if there’s one thing I’ve learned from all of you, its that – more often than not – vulnerability invites respect.

Even in those people we really don’t think will understand. Read more

Oct 12

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Wednesday’s Wonder Woman: Jackie Kennedy

Whoever said that life gets easier when your kids are in school lied.

No, no, they did. And you, whoever you are, well, I will never believe anything you say, ever again.

Because this is not easier. It is busier than ever. I sleep less, I have less time to myself. I am slowly going insane. Each day another miniscule piece of my brain is falling off and being replaced by mush. And that mush cries, ‘you will never have another sane moment as long as you’re alive.’

Which, of course, with me, may not be so long.

I’m just kidding about that last part. Well, sort of. That kind of joke has become common in our house. Sometimes it makes me laugh when nothing else will.

But, if I’m being really honest, I spend lots of time flirting with exhaustion. It’s not the volume of tasks that overwhelm, but how each of those tasks – or roles – conflict with each other. Wife vs. Mother, Mother vs. Nurse, Nurse vs. Writer, Writer vs. Cancer-patient, Daughter vs. Sister, Taxi-driver vs. Peace-maker, Encourager vs. Disciplinarian, Caretaker vs. Housekeeper, Housekeeper vs. Social Secretary, and of course my favourite role: remember everything for everyone else and make sure each of them is reminded of that thing to remember every two minutes.

Women tend to have role confusion. We sometimes call it ‘juggling.’

I think its more like flame-throwing. Read more

Oct 8

6 Comments

Back to the Future: A History of Thanksgiving

On my counter sits two bags of delicious homemade bread. My fridge boasts a beautiful display of homemade roasted pepper soup made by one of the very talented local authors of Mennonite Girls Can Cook. Last night we devoured plates of roasted potatoes, walnut chocolate chip cookies, and ‘easy lasagna’ casserole, all cooked fresh by a very dear friend of our family.

And right now I’m lightly cleaning up for the arrival of some of our favorite people ever – whom we also happen to be related to. These amazing friends and relatives are bringing every last inch of Thanksgiving dinner to us.

Wow.

All of this comes on the heels of the best news I’ve heard in the last few months: my prolactin levels were normal.

That means, no tumor.

At least, not in my pituitary gland.

It wouldn’t technically have been cancer, and it wouldn’t technically have been in my brain, but the thought of operating inside my skull – and the thought of something growing inside my skull, affecting how I thought, saw, and did things – really shook me.

The thought of another cancer or almost cancer made my brain – and heart – hurt.

David texted me the news on Thursday morning: I called the doctor. Pit levels are good.  Read more

Oct 5

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Wednesday’s Wonder Woman: Elliana Meredith

So, last weekend the thought occurred to me that this ‘prolactinoma’ they’re wondering if I have – which would be evidenced by high prolactin levels – could actually be something else. Something very different. Something very happy.

There was a simple way to find out.

I took a test.

And, for a moment, it looked positive.  Then, I noticed something else.

Must have been a false positive. Because I was definitely NOT pregnant.

But when I told all this to David, I paused in between the false positive and the NOT pregnant part. His face contorted in a mixture of horror and humor.

‘Well, our babies have never really been, um… planned.’ he said.

He’s right.

Noelle was a pleasant surprise. Elliana was a whirlwind of, oh, this again, already?

And when I look back on it, Elliana may have been the trigger that made me really sick. Read more

Sep 28

18 Comments

Game On

Welcome to the roller coaster that is now my life.

Buckle up. Keep all hands and arms inside the vehicle. I promise the ride will be bumpy, twisted, and upside down.

Good. Now that I’ve warned you, let me tell you about my week.

I’ve seen four different doctors. I’ve been to BC BioMed Labs three times. And, so far I may have one or more of the following four illnesses: pulmonary hypertension/heart failure, hypothyroidism, cervical cancer, or my favorite, pituitary tumor.

All are possible, the last three are likely. And they may all be related to the last one: a tumor in my pituitary gland.

Technically, pituitary tumor is not cancer. Nor is it a brain tumor. It’s called pituitary adenoma, a slow-growing tumor in the pituitary gland that messes up all of the body’s hormones, causing things like hypothyroidism and a host of reproductive issues, including the iron-deficiency anemia that I’ve already been diagnosed with.  Depending on its size, it’s often not operated on; best treatment is usually through medication.

It’s also often never even diagnosed. Read more

Sep 21

11 Comments

Wednesday’s Wonder Woman:The Original, Canadian “Bones”

Week after week I pillage Google for inspiring women to write about. And, I always wonder, where are all the Canadians?

Despite the stereotype that Canadians are ‘nice’ and ‘polite,’ Canadian women are more fire and ice than most. Back a few months, when our hockey team was playing San Jose, a number of San Jose fans trolled Canucks forums, saying things like, ‘our chicks are hotter than yours.’

Typical smack talk, and all part of the fun of sports fandom, I know. But, I was pretty impressed that MORE than a few male Canuck fans jumped on that comment. ‘We grow ’em pretty, gritty, and smart up here.’

We do.

So, where are all the Canadian heroines?

I don’t mean famous people. I don’t mean rock stars or actresses. I don’t mean songwriters or athletes.

Though, we do have a few of those that make my Canadian heart swell with pride.

I mean women who otherwise would not be known except that they dared to do what others said was impossible.

And then, this week, I found these two great books by Merna Forster: 100 Canadian Heroines, and 100 More Canadian Heroines: Famous and Forgotten Faces.

The first is promoted by our only female Prime Minister, Kim Campbell: “The term ‘weaker sex’ should make one’s blood boil after reading this book,” she says.

The second, released just this month, writes about a woman whose name is so boring, but life so interesting, I had to direct attention her way.

Bones fans? You might want to pay attention here. Read more

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